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Making Decisions

James 1:5- If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God

D&C 9:8-9- Study it out in your mind, then ask God. If it's right, your bosom shall burn

"While you cannot change the past, you can change the future" -David S. Baxter

"Seek Heavenly guidance one day at a time. Life by the yard is hard; life by the inch, it's a cinch" -Thomas S. Monson

"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking places" -anon

"The grass is greener where you water it" -Neil Baringham

"If you don't know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take" -Alice in Wonderland

"It's not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are" -Roy E. Disney

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life story will develop" -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sails" -Thomas S. Monson

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different" -C.S. Lewis

"What we love determines what we seek, what we seek determines what we think and do, what we think and do determines what we become" -Uchtdorf

"Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart" -Gordon B. Hinckley

"You are good. But it is not enough to be good. You must be good for something" -Gordon B. Hinckley

"To believe in something and not to live it is dishonest" -Gandhi

"Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit. Talk about your joys" -Rita Schiand

"We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day" -Richard G. Scott

"A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick out teeth, but if you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely" -Roald Dahl, The Twits

"Try a little harder to be a little better" -Gordon B. Hinckley

"I cannot see a Bishop in myself, but if you say it's the Lord's will, I'll try" -Newel K. Whitney

-"Go and ask Father" -  Joseph Smith

-"Thy strength is in me" -voice from heaven to Newel K. Whitney

"We must constantly remind ourselves that He is God and we are not" -Jeffrey R. Holland

Mosiah 29:10- "Let us be wise and look forward to these things and do that which will make for the peace of this people"

"We are what we repeatedly do" -Aristotle

"Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do" -H. Jackson Brown, Jr

"We must all make the choice between what is right and what is easy" -Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter

"Our Heavenly Father is most pleased when we sacrifice something good for something far greater with an eternal perspective" -President Uchtdorf

Alma 48:17- "If all were like Moroni, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men"

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better" -Maya Angelou

"To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility" -Thomas S. Monson

“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” -George Santayana

"The past is to be learned from but not lived in" -Jeffrey R. Holland

"Be so good they can't ignore you" -Steve Martin

"Never check your religion at the door" -Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence, is the key to unlocking our potential" -Winston Churchill

"You must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into darkness, then the light will appear and show the way before you" -President Harold B. Lee

"If you desire to make a difference in the world, you must be different from the world" -Elaine S. Dalton

"Are you part of the Inn crowd, or are you one of the Stable few?" -anon

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place" -Kurt Vonnegut

3 Nephi 13:24 "No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon"

3 Nephi 17- Christ needs to leave the people to go teach the other 'lost tribes', but the people want him to stay longer. Rather than turn them away, he stays with them longer. Even though the other decision was important, he sacrificed and chose to stay longer

3 Nephi 18:24 "Hold up your light that it may shine unto the world"

"Don't save something for a special occasion. Every day of your life is a special occasion" -Thomas S. Monson

3 Nephi 27:12 "for their works do follow them"

"The past is behind- we must learn from it. The future is ahead -we must prepare for it. The present is now- we must live in it" -Thomas S. Monson

 "You are the child of a creator… so create! You are the creative force of your life" -Hank Smith

Ether 2:19- 3:16 "There is no light, and we cannot breathe"… The Lord answers him in verse 20, but only addresses the breathing situation. The brother of Jared asks again in 22 about lighting. The Lord answers with simply what he cannot do- fire or windows. The Lord will make your idea work. Figure it out and move forward, don't wait for a confirmation. You know what not to do, but you don't know what to do. Look for a solution then ask him. The rocks work as a result of his faith and effort. The Lord will give you more of a "no" than a "yes". "You are the child of a creator… so create! You are the creative force of your life" (Hank Smith). The brother of Jared goes to the Lord with sixteen stones and is embarrassed and feels completely incompetent (3:2-5), but shows extreme faith, diligence, and selflessness.

"You are the child of a creator… so create! You are the creative force of your life!" -Hank Smith

Moroni 7:15 "For behold, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night"

Moroni 7:19 "search diligently in the light of Christ that ye may know good from evil; and if ye will lay hold upon every good thing, and condemn it not, ye certainly will be a child of Christ"

"Life is meant to be an adventure" -Gordon B. Hinckley

"People generally see what they look for, and hear what they listen for" -To Kill a Mockingbird

"Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results" -Elder David A. Bednar

"We must not let our passions destroy our dreams" -Camelot

"Every Cinderella has her midnight- it's called Judgment Day" -President Monson

"When firmly planted, your testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that you do throughout your life. It will help to determine how you spend your time and with whom you choose to associate. It will affect the way you treat your family, how you interact with others. It will bring love, peace, and joy into your life" -President Monson

Daniel 3- "We are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O King, that we will not serve they gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up"

• Nebuchadnezzar wants Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego to worship his golden image, but they refuse

• They were not careful to answer the king, because they had already made decisions on where they stood, what they believed in, and how they felt

• They were confident in their answer and held to their values and commitment, but also to God's will

Matthew 5:19 "Whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven"

Sincerity of purpose: Matthew 6:1-18

Matthew 6:24 "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon"

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you"

Matthew 15:11 "Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man"

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Marriage

"Love is a partnership of two unique people who bring out the very best in each other and who know that even though they are wonderful as individuals, they are even better together" -Barbara Cage

"Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning" -anon

"I believe that the most important single thing that you will ever do in this world is to marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority" -Bruce R. McConkie

"The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother" -Elaine S. Dalton

"Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary" -Oscar Wilde

"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fads, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat" -Joanne Woodward

"We must be our own before we can be another's" -Emerson

"Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion, that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small, to make your companion's joy your own, to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion" -Henry B. Eyring

"A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers" -Ruth Bell Graham

"When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open up some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died trying to heal" -Jeffrey R. Holland

"Let people repent. Let people grow. Believe that people can change and improve. Is that faith? Yes! Is that hope? Yes! Is it charity? Yes! Above all, it is charity, the pure love of Christ. If something is buried in the past, leave it buried. Don’t keep going back with your little sand pail and beach shovel to dig it up, wave it around, and then throw it at someone, saying, “Hey! Do you remember this?” Splat!" -Jeffrey R. Holland

Eccl. 4:9-10 "it is not good for man to be alone. Two are better than one, for if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up"

Choose your love; love your choice

"You need to exercise faith. Find someone with whom you can be compatible. Realize that you will not be able to anticipate every challenge which may arise, but be assured that almost anything can be worked out if you are resourceful and if you are committed to making your marriage work" -President Monson

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person" -Mignon Mo Laughlin

"The crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty" -Jeffrey R. Holland

"Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears" -Thomas S. Monson

Ephesians 5:2, 25, 33 "And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour… Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband"

D&C 42:22-23 "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else. And he that looketh upon a woman to lust after her shall deny the faith, and shall not have the Spirit; and if he repents not he shall be cast out"

"True love is a process. True love requires person action. Love must be continuing to be real. Love takes time" -Marvin J. Ashton

"Love, as defined by the Lord, elevates, protects, respects, and enriches another. It motivates one to make sacrifices for another" -Elder Richard G. Scott

"Be quick to say 'I'm sorry'. As hard as it is to form the words, be sift to say, 'I apologize, and please forgive me', even though you are not the one who is totally at fault. True love is developed by those who are willing to readily admit personal mistakes and offenses" -Joe J. Christensen

"Perfect love is perfectly patient" -Elder Neal A. Maxwell

"Love is having no secrets" -Elder Scott

"Love is a verb. It isn't what you say, but what you do" -anon

The 4 tests of true love (John Wildsoe)

• True love of man and woman will always include the love of God and proof is in what we do (obedience)
• Love is always founded in truth
• Love does no offend, or hurt, or injure the loved one
• As good as these tests are, true love sacrifices for the loved one

"In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage" -Robert Anderson

"Love is more a choice, an ability, an action, than it is a feeling" -anon

"Love them the most when they are the least lovable" -Kent Brooks

"Terrific marriages are completely respectful, transparent, and loyal" -Elder L. Whitney Clayton

"I know of no other practice that will have so great an effect upon your marriage as will kneeling together in prayer. Your companionship will sweeten; your love will strengthen; your appreciation one for another will grow" -President Gordon B. Hinckley

8 principles of conflict resolution (as taught by Kent Brooks)

1. Avoid contention! The world tells us that fighting and differences are inevitable, but that is handicapping yourself if you believe this- you don't understand the doctrine. The first thing the Savior teaches the Nephites after establishing the church is to have no disputations among them. Humility is so important! We make mistakes, but be quick to apologize, and quick to forgive! Catch things early, before they have time to grow and fester and turn into something bigger. "Never speak a cross word. Not one" -President Kimball
2. Distinguish between preference and principle. Principles are rooted in revealed truth. Preferences expand us and allow us to see light differently. "In essentials, let there be unity. In non essentials, let there be liberty. In all things, let there be charity" -Elder B. H. Roberts
3. Think win-win. This doesn't always mean compromise. Compromising often results in lose-lose. Pause and really communicate and look for an underlying need and desire. Don't criticize your spouse! When you strengthen one part, you strengthen all parts- don't become opponents! 
4. Remember the law of the harvest. "Fear not to do good, that which you sow, you reap..." If you reap compassion, you get compassion. But! You CAN plant good seeds and get no fruit- the Lord is the rewarder, so maybe not from that person will you receive your reward, but you will, have patience. Don't be afraid to do good or think it's not working. Sowing and reaping are different seasons- some are short seasons, some are long. Don't expect to plant a seed and get fruit tomorrow, but we do this in relationships. Stop! It takes time. We tend to look at short term only, but look at the eternal perspective. Some harvests are bountiful, some are not. It has nothing to do with the seed- that is just life, for reasons we don't understand. You can do something tiny and make a huge different on someone's life, but you could do something huge and get nothing back. Our relationship to God is like this- he does so much for us, but we give back so small. 
5. Proper motive: Sometimes we just want to win the argument, or point fingers. It requires humility to avoid this and seek help from the Lord. One of the best motives is recognizing you need to restore good feelings to have the spirit, or you will not be successful. This was seen as Joseph Smith could not translate the plates after getting into an argument with his wife. Only after he prayed for forgiveness and then asked Emma's forgiveness did the Spirit return. Another motive is love, and resolving conflict in private, otherwise it is immature and will escalate (see Matthew 18- if thy brother trespasses against thee, resolve it alone to regain thy brother and reestablish unity). 
6. Act, don't react. Recognize you have responsibility in the conflict and in resolution. When Nephi went back for the plates, he was gone for an estimated month or two, and his mom (Sariah), began to panic and mourn, thinking her sons were dead. She had bottled up all her fears, and they all broke loose (1 Nephi 5). She begins to criticize her husband, and he does not criticize her back, like most of us would have reacted. Instead, he A.C.T's. He agrees, comforts, and teaches/testifies. He agrees by saying that yes, he is a visionary man, an apologizes. Have humility to say "you're right, and I'm sorry..." This doesn't mean you necessarily agree with everything, for find it fully true. If you aren't willing to accept some responsibility, you lose credibility, and it becomes difficult for that person to trust us. He then comforts, looking to her underlying needs and responding not just to her words, but her feelings and emotions. She is hurting, and he acknowledges that. He then teaches and testifies. Sariah then says that she now knows that he truly is called of God and they were sent out of Jerusalem. Before, she hadn't had her own testimony of leaving Jerusalem, but was just trusting her husband and relying on him. She finally had her own witness and could testify for her own now. 
7. Bury your weapons. When we are angry or frustrated, we tend to draw out certain weapons (criticism, contempt, defensiveness, withdraw, silent treatment, lying, anger, jumping to conclusions, etc). We learn from the Anti-Nephi-Lehi's that they took ALL their weapons and buried them. They didn't hang on to just a few, just in case. Not only did they bury them, they buried them deep. They were honest with themselves enough to know that temptation could come and they would want them back. If they put them close to the surface, they could easily go back and get them. They covenanted with God, realizing they could not do this difficult task on their own. 
8. Hold regular couple counsels. Don't fly by the seed of your pants and think "When an issue comes up, then we'll talk about it". Have a regular time to focus on issues. This frees up other time used to build each other up, strengthening your relationship, confidence, trust, and love. Don't make counsel sessions gripe sessions, or neither of you will ever want to do it again. Make them at least 90% positive, showing appreciation, love, and gratitude for one another. Ask what you can do better to be a better husband or wife. Keep it simple! Couples that do this have shown that 70% of all concerns are resolved right then and there, by simply voicing them and being heard. Be sure to discuss openly and consider the other's point of view. Define the problem and get to the basis of it to have a resolution. Be sure to follow up and make sure you are closer to your goal. If not, maybe you need to modify it. 

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Miracles

Mormon 9:10 "Behold, I will show unto you a God of miracles"

Matthew 14:15-21- Jesus feeds 5,000 with five loaves and 2 fish

Mormon 9:19 "And fi there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles"

Ether 2:19- 3:16 "There is no light, and we cannot breathe"… The Lord answers him in verse 20, but only addresses the breathing situation. The brother of Jared asks again in 22 about lighting. The Lord answers with simply what he cannot do- fire or windows. The Lord will make your idea work. Figure it out and move forward, don't wait for a confirmation. You know what not to do, but you don't know what to do. Look for a solution then ask him. The rocks work as a result of his faith and effort. The Lord will give you more of a "no" than a "yes". "You are the child of a creator… so create! You are the creative force of your life" (Hank Smith). The brother of Jared goes to the Lord with sixteen stones and is embarrassed and feels completely incompetent (3:2-5), but shows extreme faith, diligence, and selflessness.

Ether 12:12 "If there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them"

Moroni 7:27 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, have miracles ceased because Christ hath ascended into heaven, and hath sat down on the right hand of God, to claim of the Father his rights of mercy which he hath upon the children of men? For he hath answered the ends of the law, and he claimeth all those who have faith in him; and they who have faith in him will cleave unto every good thing; wherefore he advocateth the cause of the children of men; and he dwelleth eternally in the heavens…. Have miracles ceased? Nay; neither have angels ceased to minister unto the children of men"

Moroni 7:33 "If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me"

Moroni 7:37 "It is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men"

"No force beneath the heavens could hold back the power of the Son of God. It was as if His Almighty Father could stand no more. The earth trembled. The guards fled. The stone was moved. The Lord arose… and stepped forth to become the first fruits of them that slept. The empty tomb bore testimony of this greatest of all miracles" -Gordon B. Hinckley

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Missionary Work

"We are not asking for perfection. The works of the Lord is done by ordinary people who work in an extraordinary way. The Lord magnifies those who put forth the effort… With small means the Lord accomplishes His marvelous work" - Gordon B. Hinckley

D&C 1:23- the fullness of my gospel will be proclaimed by the weak and the simple

"The nearer a person approaches the Lord, a great power will be manifested by the adversary to prevent the accomplishment of His purposes" -Joseph Smith

"Let us not become so intense in our zeal to do good by winning arguments or by our pure intention in disputing doctrine that we go beyond good sense and manners, thereby promoting contention, or say and do imprudent things, invoke cynicism, or ridicule with flippancy. In this manner, our good motives become so misdirected that we lose friends and, even more serious, we come under the influence of the devil. I recently heard in a special place, "Your criticism may be worse than the conduct you are trying to correct" - James E. Faust

D&C 123:12 - Many on the earth who are kept from the truth  because they know not where to find it

"I plead with you, do not hide your candle under a bushel. Do not conceal the knowledge God has bestowed upon you from your fellows. Do not annoy them, but do not be unwise enough as to hide from them the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is the only power of God unto salvation in the celestial kingdom" -George Albert Smith

Mosiah 12:19- "But he answered them boldly and withstood all their questions"

Mosiah 17:2- Alma hears and believes- just one man, but by Mosiah 18:35, there were 450 people converted

Mosiah 28:3- "they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish"

Mosiah 27:36- "and thus they were instruments in the hands of God in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth, yea to the knowledge of their Redeemer"

Alma 17:4-5, 11 - "he had much success… (but) they did suffer much both in body and in mind)…" "Go forth and establish my owrd, yet ye shall be patient in long suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls"

Alma 18:26- teaching moments- find a common ground and simplify teaching to the investigators understanding (vs. 24-28 'Believest that there is a great spirit…. This is God')

"The most persuasive gospel tract is the exemplary life of a faithful Latter-day Saint" -President Hinckley

Alma 17/18- Lamoni- had to trust Ammon first, before he could believe his message

Alma 37:6 "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass"

Alma 38:12 "Use boldness, but not overbearance"

Helaman 13- Samuel the Lamanite was saved by someone, and now he is working to save others

Helaman 15:4 "the Lamanites he hath hated because their deeds have been evil continually, but behold salvation hath come unto them through the preaching of the Nephites"

• The Lord has a plan. Sometimes we have to save someone so one day they can turn around and save us

"Great things are brought about and burdens are lightened through the efforts of many hands anxiously engaged in a good cause" -Elder M. Russell Ballard

3 Nephi 15:21 "Other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also must I bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd"

3 Nephi 21:29 "And they shall go out from all nations; and they shall not go out in haste, nor go by flight, for I will go before them, saith the Father, and I will be their rearward"

"The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come. A desire to serve is a natural outcome of one's conversation, worthiness, and preparation" -Elder Russell M. Nelson

Mormon 9:22 "Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature"

"Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results" -Elder David A. Bednar

Moroni 9:6 "not withstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God"

"Go preach the gospel, and if you must, use words" -St. Francis

"A timid and fearing people cannot do their work well, and cannot do God's work at all" -President Howard W. Hunter

Matthew 5:19 "Whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven"

Matthew 9:37-39 "Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the laborers are few; pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth laborers into his harvest"

"The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served" -President Gordon B. Hinckley

Matthew 10:19-20 "Take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you"

• Rely upon divine inspiration for what to say… don't depend on your own wisdom

"If you are not a full time missionary with a missionary badge pinned on your coat, now is the time to paint one on your heart" -Neil A. Anderson

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